One Sacrifice Too Many
by SilverMoonFlames
Summary: Kisu had a weakness: L and her undying love for him. Unfortunately, so did her best friend with the Shinigami Ryuk. When their bizarre loves come between both their friendship and lives, how do they help their loves on the Kira case AND keep their lives?


**Oto-Sareta Tenshi- **Fallen Angel (pronounced SAR-eh-tah)

**Tsuki Kisu- **Moon Kiss

**O-ka-san- **mother

**Nazo-Ataenushi- **Mystery Giver

**Koishii-** Beloved

**Alternate Universe. Tried to make as believable and real as possible, and make it fit with the Death Note story so just bear with me and please review!**

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Kisu tossed her limp body onto her bed, crying out loud at the pain that crippled her heart so violently.

"I'm sick of it! This pointless,self-inflicted pain! I don't want it! I hate it!" she screamed at the top of her voice, rolling around on her bed spastically until she fell off, where she trembled harder.

Her arms were already sliced up beyond recognition and her nails were torn to the stub from clawing at her chest so fervently. Her only comfort was that her pain would be over soon. Not soon enough, though...

"I'm so stupid...why did I even have to go meet him?...it made it so much worse," she groaned to herself, tears rolling consistenly down her cheeks. She was dehydrated from crying for so long.

She thought back to when she first officially met him. Her broken heart could barely remember, her mind was so clouded. Just two weeks ago she had been in pain, as well, but not like this.

_Saturday, February 14_

"Ryuzaki-san..."

Kisu blinked against the rain that plummeted so violently to the earth. It caught in her eyelashes, making her vision blur by the makeup that ran down her face. She wiped it off promptly, not wanting to look like a street-ridden widow, as the liquid dripping down her face wasn't tears this time, and the force dragging her to that particular spot wasn't the unbearable, heart-wrenching sadness as it usually was. This time she had a lighter goal, a much happier mission.

It was Valentine's Day and, oddly enough, the only day of the year that actually brought her anything but a broken heart. Every other holiday filled her with grief. New Years was just a holiday to signify another year of her lonesomeness; her tears were hidden by the darkness of midnight. Spring fever didn't exist for her; it was replaced by _him._ Christmas was braved by the mask she was forced to place over her face so her family wouldn't have to put up with her pain. Even her birthday brought her nothing but sorrow; no gift could make her forget the void that she knew only _he_ could fill. _Him._ And no one else.

Every occasion, having done this for nearly a year now, she did the same thing. Not that she didn't do this every major holiday, but Valentine's was different. For days before the holiday was even celebrated, she would stay up for hours and hours baking. Every sweet she could think of, from simple and sweet to intricate and refined, she would find recipes for all kinds of Japanese delicacies and use every bit of money she had saved from the previous month to spend on ingredients to make batches and batches of every recipe she compiled to pick out only the best and create the most elaborate, delectable basket of sweets she could possibly put together for his eating. Every morning, just after sunrise, _he _would wake up to a beautiful new, huge basket of goodies. She made sure each one was better than the last. Even when her fingers ached and face burned from being behind an oven so long she never regretted her actions. In her carefully deceived eyes, it was all worth it. Every ounce of happiness _he_ endured was her life. The very nectar she survived on. And she knew it was a weakness.

The rain poured harder, making an invisible layer of spattering water across her skin. Foreshadowing the rain, she had carefully wrapped her precious basket, so big she had to hold it with both hands, in layers of plastic. It was heavy, too, full of cakes and beignets and candies and sauces. Excitement melted into her bones. Nauseating anticipation also struck her with every second that she stood idle. The strain in her arms made this painfully apparent to her the longer she stood outside _his_ door. Just another apartment down another street on this ordinary day. She knew he was home, though. He rarely left for 'work' on holidays, especially on rainy days such as this.

She looked at the door longingly. Every day he stepped outside it to retrieve his newspaper. Either him or Watari, who stayed with him on weekdays to discuss the latest missions. But this time, as fortune had it, Valentine's fell on a Saturday, guaranteeing her a peek at her love. It was even dark out, as the clouds had choked out the sun. Kisu memorized the peeling paint from the front door. She couldn't believe a God loved her so much as to put her on the same planet, let alone the same _town_, as the perfect angel that she had met almost a year ago. She had fallen quite hard, and so fast.

Lightning struck suddenly nearby, making her jump to reality.

_L-san, _she thought quickly, taking the few steps more that would carry her to his doorstep. Gently setting the basket down, she took one more look at it. _Please, L-san, accept my gift._ With that, she rung the doorbell and dashed from sight.

She knew exactly how long it would take him to answer it. He typically resided in the room just inside the door. She assumed it was his study or something. She wasn't quite as demented or crazy as to invade that much of his privacy. She was more than irrevocably, pitifully and heartbreakingly in love with him. She had so much respect for him as well. His intellect, his fitness -despite the ridiculous amount of sweets he consumed-, his amazing eyes and gorgeous hair. Every aspect of him attracted her to him so forcefully she thought surely, after much more time of the ritualistic life she currently lived, she would break eventually. After all, a girl can only wait on a man for so long, right? But as long as she breathed, she knew she would love him.

Fleeing behind a nearby cluster of bushes located conveniently across the street, she poked her head just through the branches to await his familiar response. Anticipation nearly suffocated her now.

She knew full well how ingenious L really was. If she was honest with herself she knew that surely, after ten months of delivering sweets to him, he would have figured out exactly who and why and how was leaving all the junk at his door, especially since this wasn't his permanent residence. This sometimes scared Kisu. She didn't want him to know who the pitiful excuse of his admirer was, and yet she knew better than to think L just couldn't figure it out. Maybe he didn't care. Maybe he got so many gifts already he didn't identify one from the other. She had no idea. All she did know was that as long as she could get away with a single glance of him, she would continue this ritual as long as she could.

Finally, after seconds that felt like years, the grey door creaked slowly open, revealing more and more of the figure she so patiently awaited.

Darkness cast over his hunched body, making his silhouette stand out against the light interior of the apartment; Kisu's skin crawled helplessly under his undeniable spell, a single sigh slipping from her lips. As the door finally inched out the rest of the way he protruded from the dark confines of his dwelling. He stood idly in the doorway, looking first to his left, then the right. Then, as Kisu so desperately hungered for, he looked down, eyeing the decorative gift at his feet. His reaction was the same as it always was. Looking around again, he finally picked up the basket with both of his hands as if he knew care was to be exercised with this heavy gift, briefly checking around for a nametag, and upon finding none, turning and disappearing back into the void that was his house, closing the door with his foot as he made his exit from Kisu's view.

Kisu sighed. _Oh, Ryuzaki, from the moment I laid eyes on you I was swept away...If only you even knew I existed. If only I wasn't so afraid of rejection...of the feelings that I know couldn't be returned..._

After one more longing glance at the building she loved so dearly, she straightened from the position she had crouched in and turned, memories starting to flood her head.

'Isn't that the new genius dude?'

'But isn't he like 25?'

'23, stupid, get it right!'

'He must have transferred; it takes smarts to get into this university.'

So many comments and rumors had erupted from his presence at the university just last year, the beginning of her first semester at the school. He had, of course, only come to watch Light Yagami. His presence changed her life forever, even when he stopped attending because of the Kira case. She knew Light was Kira; she knew, because L suspected him so surely. (She had actually become quite active in the Kira case. This was her own personal secret.) After just a month or so he had stopped attending, but that didn't hinder her affection for him. She had just turned 19 last month. It seemed all her other friends had found love, some even marriage. That disheartened her further every time she thought of it, but she just couldn't abandon her love for L. No one had ever appealed so vigorously to her like this, ever.

Reality hit her again, making her remember her setting. _Once more,_ she reasoned quickly, looking back at the house for just one more inklet of pain. The beforehand of the holiday wasn't ever so bad, the baking occupying all her time and thoughts, but the afterward always hit her hard. She had nothing to do the rest of the day but to sit around the house, avoiding her mother's questions and comments. But the view of the apartment cramped between all the others was dramatically different than she had expected. This time, the small patch of steps leading from the front door was not vacant. Her heart stopped.

Shock suddenly overwhelmed her. Was that...was that really...?

There he was. Sitting on the doorstep. Staring...at _her_? Breath suddenly evaded Kisu, nearly winding her. _No, he couldn't be..._ She looked around, thinking maybe his attention was focused elsewhere but no one was around. She didn't even see any vehicles nearby.

He was sitting in his usual manner, hair half covering his dark eyes. Kisu struggled to stand. Could she really say...their eyes had met? He was just across the street. So close...why had he even come back out? He hadn't ever given a second glance in the past, never attempted before to seek out the treat's mysterious deserter.

"Hello," he said suddenly, his voice carrying across the street to her. He straightened, at least, to his hunched position.

Kisu trembled with the effort she exerted to overcome Earth's gravity in the battle to force her to the ground. _Ryuzaki-san...spoke...to me?_ All common sense left with every breath she managed to heave. _What do I **do**?_

"Um..." she looked around again, to make certain she wasn't making a fool of herself.

"Was it you?" he continued softly, just loud enough for her to hear. "Did you leave the basket?"

A panic arose in her, sweeping throughout her body with force enough to cripple her. _Should I run? Should I just...leave...so he doesn't get upset with me? What does he even want? Did I really...offend him...?_

She felt as if her heart was breaking. Truly, genuinely breaking. Many a time she had thought she had a broken heart, but that was the only feeling that filled the void. The horrible sense of feeling so unloved. But now it was physical, this pain. So physical it hurt her very chest, making her hands rise to her torso, as if it could keep the pieces of her heart together before it shattered. But he had spotted her. Finally he had a face to match with the gifts. There was no turning back now. She had to take whatever wrath had been unknowingly building up in him the last ten months of her anonymous gifts. Fear started to creep into her heart with every passing second she felt his precious presence.

"Oh-" her face flushed embarrassingly, making her tremble harder. "I-...I'm sorry!"

Fingers twisting with the painful feeling that gripped her heart so violently, she turned, wobbling dangerously close to the ground. _No...just make it past the block and you can crawl through a gutter. Just move..._she tried to tell herself, but her body was responding so badly to her heart she knew she couldn't make it another step. Thrusting herself forward she flew across the sidewalk down the street, managing to round the corner of the block, out of his sight. Looking wildly around for somewhere to hide -she didn't even know from whom- like a ditch, or bridge, even under a porch. But she was in the city part of town, where the local park was the only place around with even a ditch.

Finding no other thought or reason to satisfy her haywire emotions she sunk to the ground, cradling her head in her hands and sitting back against the brick apartment building.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," she chanted to herself, wanting nothing more than to take the barbed wire from a fence and hang herself with it. _I am such a fool, such a mistaken fool!_

What to do now? She had no clue what awaited her. She just wanted to go home and lock herself in her room, but she couldn't even compose herself enough to stand up. But sitting here of all places made her so close to _him._ Close to _L..._how long had she awaited this moment? Suddenly she realized she hadn't, not really. Dreamed it maybe, _wished_ it maybe, but never actually thought it would happen. She hadn't even considered the option before. Now what was she to do?

Burying her face in her hands, she curled up over herself, trying her hardest to swallow her own body within itself. Or at least the choking lump in her throat that formed when she even thought about him. _Seeing_ him always made it so much worse, and _now,_ the very first time she had even said a word to him, she thought she might very well die. Of what she didn't know, but surely a body couldn't function with all the turmoil that wrecked havoc throughout her.

The rain still fell, she noticed as it puddled around her, soaking her medium-length black hair. The tight black clothes she wore stuck to her uncomfortably, making her breathing all the worse. How long had she been there? Barely a minute? Her head swam, body still not registering that it was supposed to get up and take her home. But she did not move.

Woozily, she picked up her head, realizing how stupid she must look. Bracing herself on either side of her body by pushing downward on the concrete ground, she slowly but steadily moved her back upward and managed to set her lower spine against the wall behind her. That was as far as she got, though, as she stayed in the crouch and held her head to compose herself a little more.

"Need a hand?" said a voice suddenly, making her jump.

In some kind of cross between horror and excitement, she looked up, squinting through the dripping hair that fell in her face. A silent, hysterical sigh split her lips.

"L..." she whispered softly, only able to see the eye of his that was also peeping through his dark hair.

"May I assist you?" he repeated, holding a hand out to her. She trembled, nearly falling back down.

Unexpectedly, L took her hand anyway, gently pulling it from the ground she was still pressing on. Ever so carefully he pulled on her, helping her rise to a standing position. Her body almost shuddered at his touch, her mind not even beginning to comprehend his small gestures.

Once she was on her feet, she shoved the hair behind her right ear, blushing immensely with the emotions that were rampaging her body.

"Arigato," she said quickly, not able to take her eyes off of him. The rain made his shirt pull to his chest, defining the muscles he hid. She struggled to keep her body to herself, as all it wanted to do was touch him, to embrace him. But she just knew it would only hurt her far worse when separation came.

"O-ha-yo," he greeted bluntly, looking to her with curious eyes. "You left in a hurry; I did not catch your name."

"Oh-" she said at a loss for words. "I-...I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"I didn't ask for an apology," he cut her off quickly, touching her hand again. "But I would really appreciate a name, nazo-ataenushi."

"My name?" she said softly, shock still melted over her mind. _He's speaking...to me...to me..._Kisu was so stunned, so distracted and hopelessly lost in the entity that was L, she was too nervous and disoriented to speak. But he, for whatever other-worldly reason, wanted her name, and she was slave to his happiness.

"Kisu," she said finally. "Tsuki Kisu..."

"Shall I call you Tsuki-san?" he asked, moving just a little closer to her. Her heart palpitated rustically. "Is that what you're called by?"

"Yes," she said, eyes starting to bug out of her head. A conversation! She was holding a conversation with the world's greatest detective. _No,_ she thought quickly, _more than that...so much more..._"That's what I'm called by my friends..." She regret her last words. _Stupid,_ she scolded herself.

"Okay," he said calmly in his monotone voice. The very sound of it made Kisu want to cry, just out of shock and happiness and every other emotion that held her captive to him. "Did you leave the basket?"

He looked at her intently, making her shrink under pressure. His eyes seemed to burn holes into hers, watching her every movement, but why Kisu didn't know. She was only able to answer his every inquiry.

"Yes, Ryuzaki-san," she whispered, quickly wiping away her makeup as the rain made it smear yet again.

He seemed to be amused by her answer. "Oh, so you know me?" He made a satisfied grunt and continued. "And the others? The other baskets?"

She turned away, slightly ashamed. "Yes, Ryuzaki-san," she whispered, hanging her head.

"Koishii-Tsuki," he said, suddenly taking a step forward and picking up her chin with his gentle fingers.

Kisu gasped, heart beating harder and harder until she was sure L could hear it. _He's...he's...touching me...my face...he's..._

Despite her spastic reaction to his simple touch, he continued. "For ten months and nine days, on every holiday of the year, you have brought me a sweet, this day especially. Such hard work must go into it, Tsuki-san, why would you go out of your way to do such confusing things?"

Kisu gave a hysterical gasp for breath, as her heart was beating too hard to correspond with her lungs. What was she to say? How could she tell the most perfect man in the world that she was so in love with him that she would do so much more than simply baking?

"Please tell me, Tsuki-san, for this is one mystery I have not been able to discover for myself," he said softly, still looking deeply into her eyes. "The first month I thought surely they were random or mistakes, but eventually I knew they had to be somewhat intended for myself. I wanted to know who this mystery person was for some time, and it was easy once I got the basket fingerprinted. It took me a few more months to find out when exactly they were being left, and if I should actually apprehend the person Anonymous or not. I will admit I spent a lot of time watching you, analyzing your history and determining just who you are. Now, I think I'm glad I did."

Nostalgia rushed through Kisu swiftly, nearly knocking her to her feet. She wanted to hear more, just to listen to the sound of his voice. _What did he mean? He's glad he found out? Why? Is that...bad? Or...good? Dare I answer his question or comment or just bring up another subject? Maybe I should just run-_

"Tsuki-san?" he said lightly, moving just a little closer to her face. Kisu shuddered with the intensity of her rocking hormones.

"Because...Ryuzaki-san...," she managed to whisper, finding herself swaying on the spot. Dizziness overtook her, making her lose her balance. She fought to stay conscious, but she could feel it slipping with every emotion that pummeled over her and shook her body so violently.

"Yes?" he prompted gently, but gasped as he felt her pull away from his hold on her chin and watched her topple sideways. He caught her easily, simply holding out his arms and catching her by her slender waist and behind her neck. He pulled her to his body gently, looking down at her drenched face, shielding her from the rain that still fell from the sky.

"Are you okay, Tsuki-san?" he asked, but didn't seem too alarmed.

"Ryu-...zaki-...san..." was all she could mumble before she completely fainted.

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**Review Please! All comments, advice or flames are appreciated! Also, fitting the story in with actual Deathnote events is becoming quite hard for me; plz point out any mistakes so that I may correct them plz thx ^-^**


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